So Halloween is coming up on Monday here in Australia.
I’m sorry, I am going against the grain here and saying – as I have done consistently in previous years – we don’t “do” Halloween. Just the whole headless, bloodied, ghoulish mask thing is one that freaks our sensitive little petal right out. See, the LGBB likes the idea of Halloween (what’s not to love, on the surface? You dress up, you walk around your neighbourhood in groups of friends, you go door to door receiving sweets for nothing). But she always forgets that witches terrify her. Masks make her hysterical. And the sight of (even fake) blood has her father and I assured for the time being that she would not make a very good vet. Or doctor. Of any description.
I was talking to a friend earlier today about why it is that Halloween is such a big deal here. ‘Have we missed something?’ I always ask when I find that rare person who doesn’t go in for the ritual…. a term I have to use loosely.
We were none the wiser after discussing it, realising that we are uneducated about the practice of Halloween and are more than happy to allow for people who partake in it. But that it is simply not something our children join in on (because of not enjoying the dress-up bit when it comes down to sheet-adorning, mask-applying crunch-time).
We agreed that all we see is a chance for our children (nothing personal here, just talking about her children and mine) to be delivered rather mixed signals: That out of the blue, we’re encouraging the notion of going along with something simply because everyone else is doing what they collectively think is a good idea (peer pressure reinforcement… and don’t you be thinking for one second that mothers aren’t pressured by their peers!) and, more’s the sticking point for me, be rewarded with so many treats it would make your eyes pop. The kind of treats that, at any other time of year, are meted out with great restraint in our house. Why would I be okay all of a sudden with the LGBB collecting lollies from strangers, only to bring them all back here and have what would effectively be (the way I ration them) a few months’ supply of junk food? The thought of having all that in the house – and her being aware of it… and nagging me hour after hour for more – is more than I can sanely bear to imagine. These two things alone are simply not the kind of mixed messages I want to send her. Call me a prude. A stick in the mud. It just doesn’t sit well with me.
It got me thinking, though, about my upbringing. Namely, the fact that we never did trick-or-treat-ing (we lived in a place where the houses were so spaced apart by paddocks that you’d be lucky to visit ten in a 1/2km stretch… too much for little feet!). But I wasn’t short for treats. Oh, no. When I wanted the really good stuff, I had my friends. Better yet, I didn’t have to pester anyone! They did it all and I just sat back and cashed in with eyes bigger than my little stomach.
Paula was the junk food friend. She was the kind of kid who pestered her busy mother for food even as she was finishing her final mouthful of the last thing she asked for (and received). In one 2-hour play at Paula’s after primary school, I could be assured of an Augustus Gloop-type array of gluttony. Pure bliss and delight to my seven year-old eyes! Crisps, ice lollies, packets of Tic-Tacs, a choc chip biscuit or four. I remember the time I went there and was crestfallen to realise…. I had eaten so much I felt full. So full, in fact, that I couldn’t possibly fit in the Wizz Fizz, popcorn or bowl of cocoa pops (because “cereal is a healthy snack”) but did anyway. Oh, how I was ill.
Michelle was the soda fountain friend. Until the magical year we received one of our very own (1984, I believe it was), it was Michelle’s house you went to if you wanted carbonated water mixed with the most disgustingly good imitation cola syrup. Oh, yeah. That was The Stuff.
There were others, each with their own delightful contribution to my childhood treaties stage. However, of all of them, Caroline was by far the top shelf friend. For you see, in Caroline’s house one could be assured of the Expensive Cheese. The heavily over-processed long-life no-refrigeration-required-until-opening Kraft blue box cheese.
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| Oh my. I was instantly in love. With the cheese, not Caroline. |
My childhood – sadly or not, you be the judge and keep the judgements to yourself thank you very much – was improved greatly by the discovery of thickly sliced “cheese in the box” (as we called it) sat atop white bread and stuck under the griller. The base of the cheese slices would go gooey, while the top would lift away up towards the heat and grill to browned perfection. Once cooled down a tad, you could stick your finger through the dome-puffed cheese crust and break it away. Delectable. Taking a bite, the cheese would ooze and string. Sheer. Delight. From-a-box.
I took a survey (of one) and discovered my friend also remembered the name of her Treat Friend – Margie. Margie who introduced her to slabs of real butter atop hot toast. Now, to a girl who’d only known fast and efficient margarine to that point in her life, the discovery of butter was akin to finding her religion.
So I maintain: Halloween does not have to be. It never factored in my childhood and I was no worse off for it. Granted, I essentially thought cheese with a shelf life with no end-date bunged on some bread and grilled was the absolute shiz. But still… we won’t be bowing to the pressure bestowed on us increasingly each year to join in that over-commercialized “festive fun” occasion known as Halloween. It’s so northern hemisphere, it’s almost embarrassing. Mind you, how in the heck we are going to continue to get away with this as the LGBB grows older is another thing. I guess I should also add a disclaimer here that I will “never say never” definitively. But for this year at least, once again, we’ll be conveniently unable to hear the doorbell. Oh, what a shame…..
Go on. Hit me with your bah humbugs! I’m used to it!
Do you have a treat friend? Do you remember their name and what they had on offer at their house? Please share!
I lived in the treat household.
Shame on my Mum. We had every processed, packaged junk food imaginable on offer – and other kids looooved it.
I am the 'healthy treat' household.
My nephews always look forward to a feast – but it's not as junk heavy.
We never celebrated Halloween. My mother used to hand out Christian pamphlets to any kids that dared knock on our door…
…but as an up side, I'm pretty sure I was a 'treat friend'. I was given money for lunch every day – of course I didn't buy anything healthy!
Mum on the Run: Oh man, I would've LOVED you! Heh. Yes, I aim for the 'healthy treat' household as well. I figure, I'm still doing something right if the 5yo squeals with delight when I add "sprinkles" to her yoghurt (sprinkles being sunflower seeds mwahahaha)
Liz: I like your mum's style! Oooh yeah. You had daily lunch money, you were a treat friend. Respect!
Totally agree with you. Halloween (or legalized begging as I call it) and bonfire night are my two pet hates of the year. And they fall in the same week. I'm a grumpy monkey at this time of year I can tell you. We never did Trick or Treating when I was a kid either – it was merely a horrible American tradition that we only experienced on American horror movies. Suddenly it took off here in the UK too and now on Halloween the streets are full of kids experimenting with the effects of diabetes. It's not good. I won't be participating either. Humbug from me too!
Steve: My confidence is building! Here I had been fooled into believing it was "tradition" in the UK (certainly in England) by someone not long ago, who was trying to sell it to me. Nope, here it has about as much sincerity and meaning as Valentine's Day (oh groan, I'll just dodge some more bah-hum-buggery… what?)
In my little tiny bit of England it was traditional! For real, I promise!
Lucy: Oooh a bit o' contrary in the mix! I guess anything is a tradition if you repeat it oft enough. I'd be challenged out of town around here, I tell you, if I tried to take my "But it's not a tradition!" rampage to the streets. They love them a bit of tricking and treating (although no tricks, they're only in it for the treats… I am well onto them).
We didn't "do" Halloween in Poland where I grew up, but 1st November is All Saints Day and so we all trooped to cemeteries to light candles, lay fresh flowers and tidy the graves.
When Halloween began gaining in popularity here, I was of the "bah humbug" variety, but then I decided it was more fun to just go with the flow.
So, we always have a big bowl of treats by the door and my kids do go trick-or-treating. I noticed last year that they actually had more fun giving away the treats than actually getting them
I wonder what our new neighbourhood is like? Will there be hordes of dressed up kids trawling the streets? I hope so…
Dorothy: All Saints Day sounds really worthy. Nice one. See, as I said, I'm sure it'll be fun for my daughter one day but at the moment…. all that crazy costume stuff would give her nightmares I don't want to handle! Maybe one year we'll let her join the crowd. But not this time
I don't mind Halloween, we happily give out handfuls of tooth decay..er…I mean chocolate goodies to all who call :p
My treat friend would make The.Best.Pancakes from scratch and would happily make me a tonne of them, drenched in sugar and lemon hmmmmmm.
Another one would do the grilled cheese thing but with added salad spices sprinkled on top
Ala Kazam the Soda Stream Man! I always wanted one of those (the soda stream things, not Ala Kazam) because the kids in Enid Blyton books always had a siphon thingy in the nursery.
We don't do Halloween either but this year there will be a little something. To me, being Aussie, Halloween (despite its origins) is pretty much an American thing. More the trick or treating stuff and I admit I feel a bit strange when our stores here sell buckets and 'candy'. We have some neighbourhood children going trick or treating every year but their parents drop notes in our letterboxes a few days before and ask us to leave our front porch light on if we want to participate on the night.
To date, I've closed the curtains when the kids pass by because I don't want my own children to see it. My son knows what trick or treating is and has expressed a desire to go out and collect candy but it's not something DH and I want to introduce. So this year, we've made some decorations and I'll make some Halloweeny kinds of foods and that will be our own little do. No ghoulish creepy stuff though, more just silly fun
However I'll be honest and say that if we were holidaying in the US on Halloween and my children wanted to go out trick or treating, I'd definitely let them if they were okay with it all.
I've always been in two minds about Halloween. It wasn't done when I was a kid. When kids first started trick or treating here in Aus, I pooh-poohed the whole thing, but it seems to be catching on and this year I'll have some treats handy in case any kids come knocking.
But…in the back of my mind, there is that little voice that says, all year you teach your kids not to take lollies from strangers, then on Halloween, you send them out to do exactly that.
I'm more interested in the old world origins of Hallowen (All Hallows/Saints' Eve. About 15 years ago NZ in its progressive Americanisation 'got' Trick or Treating. But after some pretty nasty happenings, Society (ah what it is to have a small population) made a stand for responsible T or T and it seems to have found a happy medium. Our family are dress-up fiends but dress-up and stay-at-home for the callers, and I stock up on mandarins and apples (not always appreciated of course).
Eldest daughter once dressed up as a witch and when a group of older boys came to the door, she waited till they had each taken an apple from her basket before saying in her witchiest voice "They're poisoned," The look on their faces was priceless.
Not a 'treat' household this one, eh.
River: You get me! This is what I'm saying. And yes, yes, I know… parents go around with the younger children, it's all very sanitary – the taking of lollies from strangers when you've bowled up at their door and it's now a given you'll get door-knocked (it's constant here for about 3 hours… starts before 6pm and late-stragglers are still coming around at 9pm – bit much!). But it's like saying cake calories don't count if it's your birthday, isn't it?! "Forget the don't take candy from strangers rule IF this, this and this condition is met." I suppose at least they (mostly) dress up around here. In our old street, we'd just get a bunch of adolescents free-loading! Having done nothing to dress up but just trying their luck! Made me boil. AND they egged our house one yr when we weren't even home! Little monkeys.
Lady Mondegreen's Garden: Oh, I love it! You hand out the good old treats! I mean, "back in the day" it was mighty hard to find/afford an apple let alone a mandarin. Hahahaha you are a household after my own heart. LOVE your daughter's work.
RuskinDownUnder: Ala Kazam!!! Oh that takes me back. You're lucky closed curtains keeps them away. We've closed the gate, drawn curtains, turned off porch light… they still come in. Maybe I need to make a ye olde worlde skull and crossbone KEEP OUT sign for the gate and drape spiderwebs on it. You know, in keeping with the Aussie tradition. Sigh. I agree with you, until it's what Lolly really wants to do – and as soon as I remind her about the freaky-outy costumes she reneges her wish to participate – we're going to do our own thing. Popcorn and a movie will do her! All she (all any of the kids) care about are the treats, let's not fool ourselves.
OK, so, I was raised a church kid – having a father who was an Anglican Priest will do that to you. And we always had All Saints (or all hallows) eve and followed by all saints day.
I have a friend now who is Scottish and, like Lucy celebrated all her life. We now celebrate with her and some other friends. The kids have taken on the trick or treat part -I mean who wouldn't – but we only do local neighbours, who put out a balloon to say yep, we're in! Among the treats are stories told by retired teachers, boutique beer for the grown ups, and some lollies. Then we all go back to their house and eat proper food. The kids eat their lollies, go crazy outside, then it's over, the sugar rush subsides and we all go home!
Now, as for treats as a kid – I had the Koole family- and yeah they were cool! For breakfast I had porridge, or weetbix. They had white bread, with chocolate spread, or SUGAR, or chocolate flakes from Holland, not to mention cocopops – which they put more sugar on. You can imagine how happy I was to sleep there the night!
As for that cheese – I think I'm now craving it!
Naomi: Now that's the kind of Halloween I like to hear about. If you're going to do it (and succumb to the lolly score 'tradition') then a mix of new and original is great. What's wrong with a bit o' history and handing down of stories? Wonderful.
Ohhhhhhh didn't we all love a Koole family. Mmmm. Sugar on top of sugar.
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