Elderly and infirm: Take note!

Under NO circumstances should you attempt to sleep resting on a football, unless you have a loved one on hand to help fish you out of the predicament you’ll find yourself in when you wake and feel all shaky in the bot-bot and then panic when you discover it’s because you’re resting on a football.

Also? Using an Aussie Rules footy is easier because it will only roll out from under you in one direction. Just a tip.

There are three simple steps to this exercise:

The blissfully unaware stage. Also known as “butt-teetering”….
The “why can’t I… Get… Up?” wake-in-panic stage. Upside-down pirouette pose optional.
The “oh shite, I’m really stuck now” realisation sinks in.
If your loved one is kind, they will help you without fuss and keep guffaws to a minimum.
Until they’re inside where you can’t see them.

This post starred:  Pepper the 18-ish-year-old Wonder Dog with her pointy ears (all the better to hear absolutely NOTHING with, my dear). She’s still here. We don’t know why, but it appears she is determined to stay for the long haul and/or to prove a point to the upstart “pup” who is now middle-aged herself.

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