If it wasn’t for the nights

Okay, while you read this, you’ve gotta do something for me. It might go against every grain of sensibility in you. But… will you make an exception? And play the following clip?

The short of it is, this is just about my most favourite ABBA song. It’s one of their best. I could listen to it every day and not get sick of it. But then… I was a MASSIVE fan back in the day!

Go on… hit play… if you’re not tapping some part of your body or trying to sing the chorus by the end, well…. it’s lost on you (and let’s never speak of my adoration of ABBA again, in that case):

The long of it is, at the moment it’s kinda bloody true! See, I’m going really well – I haven’t cried for Pepper in days now, it’s been a week and a bit since I helped her go to sleep on our kitchen floor.

Thing is, though, even though I saw that big ol’ needle going in and held her head on my hands and reassured her to her death, I have been haunted by dreams that the drug didn’t work and that she is actually still alive.

Three times now I have dreamed very real dreams where I have to decide whether to call the vets and tell them it didn’t work or just shrug and say, “Well… we tried, Pep, looks like you’re here until you really want to go.”

They are absolute torture! Last night, during the dream, I actually told myself she was really dead. The needle had actually worked. I hope it signals the end of them. I don’t know what it means, I haven’t analysed them and I’m not asking or expecting you to, gentle reader. But man! I am nearly at the point of putting my fists on my hips and asking the wise Universe…. What gives?!

“If It Wasn’t For The Nights”

I got appointments, work I have to do
Keeping me so busy all the day through
They’re the things that keep me from thinking of you
Ohhh baby, I miss you so, I know I’m never gonna make it
Oh, I’m so restless, I don’t care what I say
And I lose my temper ten times a day
Still it’s even worse when the night’s on its way
It’s bad, oh, so bad

Somehow I’d be doing alright if it wasn’t for the nights
(If it wasn’t for the nights I think that I could make it)
I’d have courage left to fight if it wasn’t for the nights
(If it wasn’t for the nights I think that I could take it)
How I fear the time when shadows start to fall
Sitting here alone and staring at the wall
Even I could see a light if it wasn’t for the nights
(Even I could see a light I think that I could make it)
Somehow I’d be doing alright if it wasn’t for the nights
(If it wasn’t for the nights I think that I could take it)

No one to turn to, you know how it is
I was not prepared for something like this
Now I see them clearly, the things that I miss
Ohhh baby, I feel so bad, I know I’m never gonna make it
I got my business to help me through the day
People I must write to, bills I must pay
But everything’s so different when night’s on its way
It’s bad, oh, so bad

Somehow I’d be doing alright if it wasn’t for the nights

I’d have courage left to fight if it wasn’t for the nights

How I fear the time when shadows start to fall
Sitting here alone and staring at the wall
Even I could see a light if it wasn’t for the nights

Guess my future would look bright if it wasn’t for the nights
(If it wasn’t for the nights I think that I could make it)

 

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