I was running this morning. Literally, not figuratively. The dog was keeping her working pace at my side – I always feel so much more serious when I glance down at Jazz, she really hits her stride next to me when I jog and looks like she’s … well, working so I feel obliged to put a decent effort in because she is – when I noticed an elderly woman up ahead.
She looked quite frail and was wearing sensible slacks, court shoes and a cable knit jumper that stopped at her waist. She was walking a little white dog. I’ve just described pretty much every elderly woman going for a walk, haven’t I? But I digress.
When the woman looked up and saw us coming, she crossed the street hurriedly. I had already decided I would run down one of the driveway cross-sections and onto the street to go around her. So I felt kind of bad for being the cause of her struggling her dog across the road. As I got closer, I looked over to her where she was now pacing up the opposite footpath. The look on her face was dark. A scowl at “the youth of today” if ever I saw one. Granted, without makeup I do still look like I haven’t even hit my mid-twenties or had a hard day in my life. HAR! Har-dee-har…har…. ahem. Little do they know when they see what they think is a fresh-faced girl. Sometimes, just to digress again, I honestly wish some of the experiences of my life would show up on my face. They just. Don’t. You can’t help genes, I guess.
Anyway, she was still looking at me and I was looking at her. I was concentrating on not tripping, not wavering and bumping the dog – we’ve done that before and, oh boy, it isn’t pleasant for either Jazz or me (her poor toes) – so it took me a moment for the thought in my head “Smile a greeting” to reach my lips and work the muscles of my face. I’m old enough now to not take on whatever the response is going to be to my smile. Sometimes it’s returned, other times it’s not. That’s all cool. Especially in the solitary quiet of a lovely early morning where people get out on their own and usually want to be on their own without some fitness goon grinning their chops off at them.
I kept my smile on. I wanted to call out to her an apology for making her cross the road. It had obviously put her out. I really hadn’t wanted to disrupt her path but didn’t want to go out on the road too early to round her. But because I was running I was passing her quicker than I would’ve been able to say the words. I thought she wouldn’t respond at all.
But then, there it was. A smile. Parting the dark shadows on her face so briefly. There it was. The person behind the veil. It was a really interesting moment. One in which I realised that her closed expression was probably less about having to cross the road to avoid a jogger and their dog and more about…. well, who knows? Whatever was pressing in her life today.
I jogged on and couldn’t stop thinking, rhythmically, like a mantra (jogging can have such a meditative effect on me, which is weird, considering I’m working so hard!)….
Beautiful. And now I'm smiling at you.
Right back atya! x
Yep. What Eden said. x
Yay! You changed my day, both of you. See? This shit works.
I try to smile at as many as possible and if someone doesn't smile back, it just makes me grin like even more of an idiot at the next person!
You know where there needs to be more smiles? Public transport!!!! I caught the train yesterday in peak hour and just wow, not a smile to be seen anywhere, everyone looked so serious, sad or pissed off and most were tapping away on their fancy phone!
Smile people, it's free and brightens peoples day!
X
YEAHHHH I'm with you. It is so amusing to see all the droll-faced public transport users. Amusing perhaps wrong word…. I think I mean sad…..
Thanks for spreading the smile, Rach.
You know what rocks? When both parties are having a pretty crud day, one of you makes the effort to smile, the other person feels it, smiles back, your eyes connect and BAM instant transformation for everyone involved x
I found a mouthed thank you and smile took me a long way whilst running, for people that moved, cars that flashed me over a crossing etc. smiles connect people. Thank you's are common courtesy. Sometimes a would stop to talk to old people, knowing my running time would be bad now, because I guessed they spoke to very few people on any day. One frail lady was an ex-runner herself. We discussed routes. We parted very happy.
Absolutely.
I often think about all the 'stories' that come together on our local pathway as well as the times that complete or just about strangers have lifted my mood out there too.
When I smile people just look at me suspiciously…
Do they then sniff the air? And/or move away?
Precisely!
I adore the chats with people, especially the older residents. The nods of acknowledgement and so forth just help everything move along more smoothly, you're quite right.
It's a really cathartic place to be sometimes, huh! x
I am visiting from the old post of Notefromlapland about no comments posts. I know it was written a year (or so) ago and am glad to see that you have more comments here
About smiling…just two days ago I bestowed a woman in a little restaurant (it was restaurant serving our native food and we are at a foreign land). Being an expat, it is always delightful for me to meet someone from my home country. However, this woman only stared at me blankly before looked away. Ouch!
Loved that. I know what you mean and yet often I have to remind myself to loosen my concentrating face and let it crack. I tend to waft off into reverie or planning in every quiet moment, the onlooker could easily think worse of me for that.
Yes… Yes… Yes! I so agree. I do look my age and likely more though and I feel some people think I'm scowling when I'm probably just thinking and off in my own world. I try to be conscious of my face and how it portrays happiness for others.
Awhile back I saw a man sitting in a chair and my little guy walked by him trying to engage him. He went into the guys legs and he scowled this absolutely ugly look. I felt so bad. Then I stood up and apologized for bothering him and his face lit up and he said "oh no! I love children and I'm so glad he came over!" I realized the man probably has arthritis and the bump on the legs may have actually caused him pain but he was so inwardly glad to see a child coming towards him. It took me awhile to realize that some older folks live with pain and that shows on their faces but inside they may still be very happy. Trying not to judge a book by it's cover anymore.
Hi Rina, wow what a dismissal you received! Thanks for visiting.
I often don't remind myself to loosen my concentrating face. Oops.
Oh, such a good way to put it. Great point! Pain is surely the number one reason for a closed angry face. Because pain can be all sorts, not just physical.
sweetie, one day it will catch up with you and you will rue the day you lamented it didn't show.
Fo shizzle. January 2010 I had NO wrinkles. By December I was a freaking crone.
And I always smile at people passing by. If they ignore me or scowl I make sure to give them a HUGE Good MORNING!
Cause I am a bitch x
Kelley, so you should! (give them a huge good morning) they need it
One of the best things ever said to me as reassurance about my youthful appearance (I was about 25 at the time, looking like a 16 year-old!) was "One day, you'll be 85 and you won't look a day over 70 – then you'll be very happy." He was so right. Not that I'm hanging out to be 85 yet….
I agree with you jogging, dancing everything that has a rhythm is a great way to stimulate your positive thinking just repeat that the best will happen to you!
A little smile never hurt anyone (although I reckon it might have cracked a face or two here and there!). I think your observation that her frown might have had nothing to do with you and the pup is a really keen one. We project ourselves onto all the world most days, when all the world is generally just rather preoccupied with something else entirely! x
Hello I don't know if you're a spambot or not but you sure make very good sense! Cheers.
That's right. Don't know if there is any growing trend towards misinterpreting others by their faces alone as we become increasingly self-focused (like through blogs, FB, Twitter… all these social online platforms that have us incessantly talking about ourselves and what we are doing)! I do wonder sometimes.