Ever have days or periods of time where you feel like you’re standing at the side of a jump-rope waiting for your chance to join the game? When you look at what’s being discussed in social media and you cannot for the life of you chime in? Whatever you were going to say has been said already, or even more simply…. you just don’t care?
Ever crossed the threshold from a duration of time (hours stretching to days or weeks) where you feel that way into pretty much always feeling that way?
I’m feeling apathetic lately. About pretty much everything currently up for discussion in the media and “round the traps”. I’ve gone from feeling guilty that I am not participating in debates or discussions that you’d be forgiven for thinking “have to be had”, then wandered my way through wondering if there is anything wrong with me – am I not a good World Citizen? – and I am resting now at…
It’s okay to feel apathetic.
I’m making my own peace with this outlook that, hey, who am I to opinionate on anything? Anyone?
I’ve got to tell you, it’s kind of stymied the blog fodder somewhat! Some may even say it’s downright nonsensical for a blogger. That is a damn fine point. And I’ll bet I don’t sound like a very cool friend to hang out with – my friends can all rush to my defense here, I’ll wait….. *tuneless whistle*…. – but you see, when you remove all the opinions of others and how they are living their lives, there really IS other conversation to be had. No, really! It’s probably not a very popular opinion. I can feel the cool blade (of the collective group that’s discussing all those things that are deemed currently worthy/hot topics 24/7) on the back of my neck as I lay it on the chopping block.
At the end of the day, even the opinion that I am not concerned about what others do with their children (and how they raise them), unless the children are in danger or at risk/harm under a parent’s/caregiver’s care, is still an opinion. Who am I to profess that I will allow someone their freedom to raise their child/ren as they see fit?
But is this actually apathy?
Perhaps I am also confusing apathy with respect? So much of what I see in the media (online, on TV in the rare moments where I catch glimpses of these so-called “news” programmes) feels disrespectful to me. Many of these stories are sensational by design. Others just feel so voyeuristic that I find it difficult to follow them.
A recent example that comes to mind is the tragic Allison Bayden-Clay murder. I saw the news that she went missing, I hoped like hell they would find her alive…. and kinda knew they wouldn’t. But the details, the photos, the stories of her loved ones, as told by reporters and out there for all the world to see – it hits me hard, in cases like this, that pretty soon her murder will be forgotten for the majority of readers (until something might remind them). It’s just a fact of life. It is as it is. I just feel slightly uncomfortable with it, that’s all. It seems so voyeuristic. There’s that word again.
I can’t buy into it any more. There was a tipping point, I reached it a little while back. Actually, I reached it eight years ago when Ellanor died. The fodder of the news cycle today is tomorrow’s budgie cage lining. The thought that these stories, deeply important and life changing to so many – and countless more flippant, unimportant space-filling ones – get churned out day after day after day just made me want to back away altogether. But then I got swept up again – it’s so easy to be pulled along by the tide if you are an upstanding member of society, after all – and it’s only now that I’ve reached this point of passion exhaustion that I am looking about me thinking….
I am finding it really difficult to comment on anything that is not personally about the writer/blogger. Anything else just feels like it’s not my business. I just don’t see the point. It’s not burn-out, it’s not depression – I feel fine, I just feel… hmmmm, info’d out? Talked out? (as if it was possible for me to be talked-out)
Is this really such a bad place to be?
How do you feel about public debate? Is it overdone? Are you at saturation point? Am I being hypocritical (even if ever so slightly) by even posting this and posing these questions?
See, this is why I love you. Because I know we could sit down and talk for hours and never hit on any of the conversations happening in the news. I am often uninterested in those conversations, as well as topics that seem to engage others (fashion, beauty, gossip). But if you want to talk to me about your spiritual landscape, your hopes, dreams, fears, passions, about healing and personal growth…I’m all ears. I’m wide awake and listening.
I find your comment deeply comforting, I can’t even begin to tell you! Thank you. Nearly 50 hits on this post in the short time it’s been published, I see…. so glad there’s at least one kindred spirit who gets me amongst them
Sometimes commenting ou a public debate just feels like joining in with gang warfare… nailing your flag to one camp or another. It proves and solves nothing. It’s not even cathartic. As a writer, our personal beefs / opinions / lives are all we really have to write about and there need be no gang involved. It feels far more honest.
That’s right. It proves and solves nothing. Commentary from time to time is fine, it’s justified, it’s understandable (and obviously, widely accepted as the norm). But I do wonder what might happen if the passionate debaters (I almost wrote mass…. just for your pleasure) ever give pause to consider what might happen if we conserved ourselves in order to maximise our energy for the things we really can deal with. And not just every latest thing/fad.
I can’t handle too much news. I go in to a kind of shutdown mode, particularly after reading a distressing headline (usually the too-much-information one liner describing harm to children or animals). I like to load up the news pages every morning to see what’s going on in the world but other times I just don’t want to take in any more information.
I’ve given up reading comments on articles, I end up feeling angry and it really does ruin my mood when I see ignorant comments (also made by the ‘experts’ in the articles). I feel angry but also sad and defeated with the whole “how can people think like this?” I see far too much of the ignorant+opinionated combination. So there are those days where you just know you’d be banging your head against a wall.
That is a really good point. I can relate – sometimes I go through bouts of keeping abreast of news (I go as global/inclusive as I can) but I do get News Overload. Commentary does a similar thing to me at times as well.
Sometimes, actually, a lot of the time, I feel deeply overwhelmed by all the talking. A lot of the time I feel like the talking drowns out a lot of the connection stuff, which is why I am here when it’s all said and done. And there is a little bit of me too that feels very small in all this and thinks why would anyone give a shit about what i think about some current issue. I so get where you are coming from and I was almost so apathetic that I didn’t write a comment but now i am glad i did….which is how i always feel when i visit here (glad, not apathetic
) xxxooo
You said it better than I! Yes. This is where my complacency comes from (in my particular circle) – I see so much conversation going on, you try to join in but get overlooked or it moves so fast or what you’ve got to contribute is not relevant any longer in the thread of the story going on)… and breathe…! So, I am ever so grateful that you do stop by and I hope with everything in me that I continue to make it a relevant place for you to keep visiting. Truly xxx
This is why I listen to radio news. At least I have no visual element to it all.
As for all the online talk, I know exactly what you mean. I have a deep aversion to the band wagon. Voyeuristic, name dropping, sympathy getting for the sake of it leaves me cold. I fell uneasy with the way it feeds and grows.
I have my causes and my passions, they are considered and thought through. Researched and mulled over. But overuse, over talk, well it’s over kill, and I’m over it.
I have only just found the time to start reading any blogs again this week so quite often have no idea what anyone is gabbering on about anyway!! I hope you keep popping up though because you are lovely, lovely! x
Hooray! You’re here! I promise to keep gabbering my gibberish xx
I always thought it was just doing the Ostrich thing… sticking my head in the sand, not watching TV news, not reading papers… choosing not to follow the fashion or celebrity or TV show talk… All of that just makes me so tired and frustrated. It’s like I don’t have space in my head for that stuff… and I often feel like I have no right to comment, after all who am I? I don’t know the whole story… so how can I comment?
I wondered if I was choosing to be ignorant? and maybe I am.