| Father, father We don’t need to escalate You see, war is not the answer For only love can conquer hate You know we’ve got to find a way To bring some lovin’ here today |
This is not a post about any one situation, current or past or brewing. It’s about every one of those moments.If you feel like it’s talking to you, applied to your situation, then… yes, ok! I was writing about that! (but really, I wasn’t… when I wrote this, not one single “war” was in the front of my mind, which means – to me – that every single one of them needed to get off my chest, even the ones I’m not privy to, like yours, perhaps)
I hit breaking point in my own life this time last week. I snapped. I’d had enough. It’s taken me a week to work out what I really want to say, but in the meantime, I’ve seen trouble and strife almost every day. Huh. I wasn’t looking for it – hell, I’ve been trying to avoid any more drama, thanks – but when I had stepped back to regroup and lick my wounds and recover from feeling so sensitive and exposed…. I realised, it’s everywhere.
Guys, what a MESS.
I look around me and see people taking shots at each other. Friends. Sworn enemies. Either behind others’ backs or straight to their faces. Depends how gutsy the potshot-taker is. In shops, on the news, at school. On their blog comments.
Parting shots that sting the giver just as much as the receiver (if you think you’re not being affected by your own hateful or meddlesome actions, words or thoughts toward another, think again)
Sniping, snide digs at one another.
People taking things out of context and causing trouble, affecting people’s lives offline – whether or not the intention was “genuine”.
I’m guilty of it too. It’s rare, but every now and then, I hear myself and think, “Man… this is not you talking, no matter how justified you think you are.” Do you have a voice that ever reminds you?
Why? Why do we do it?
Can someone tell me what’s going on?
There is a way to have an opinion without outright judging another.
There is a way to remove yourself from the life of another without causing harm or hurt.
There is a way to love yourself and respect another enough to KEEP OUT OF IT.
But you have to first choose to make these choices. Like Charlotte did.
"I CHOOSE my CHOICE!"
When are we going to face up to the reality that we are not only responsible for our own words and actions (and thoughts) towards another person/group, we are also equally responsible for being mindful we aren’t inadvertently contributing to a war that’s not ours to get involved in? Unspoken thought-wars are just as nasty and draining and damaging as all-out hating on the internet. Just in my experience.
If you think this is pissy, weak, doesn’t apply to you…. congratulations! You’re a saint. Now tell us how you do it!
I’m tired. I forgot to buy gin. It may be a long week.
Here, listen to the Master of song. How did Marvin Gaye sing about blogs before the internet was even invented? He was a visionary! (and so were Al Cleveland and Renaldo Benson, they wrote this timeless song)
Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today
Father, father
We don’t need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today
Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what’s going on
What’s going on
Ya, what’s going on
Ah, what’s going on
In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on
Right on
Father, father, everybody thinks we’re wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today
Oh
Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me
So you can see
What’s going on
Ya, what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
I’ll tell you what’s going on
How pertinent. Karen and I told nursery we were removing our son yesterday. We’re not happy with how they are dealing with his occasional antisocial outbursts. To cut a long story short I had intended to go in, guns blazing, and bring a certain staff member down (the one we feel has exacerbated the problem). But in the end… we thought, no. that won’t help anyone, least of all our boy, and will only leave regret. We took the calm, kind, understanding road and the break is clean and healthy. Much, much better.
That’s such a positive move, on all fronts mate. Good stuff. And it feels much better (I find) when I find my centre before going into something and just speaking without the desire to thumb my nose or stick a pin in anyone’s side as I go. That always leaves me feeling like I’ve sold out on myself.
oh man… I think you better head back to the bottle-o….
Sounds like you’ve had an epically crap week and deserve that gin!
I have to be honest, I know I’m only new to blogging, but I haven’t seen a lot of hate going around? Am I reading the wrong ones?
oxox
Hannah, it’s too late for me… Save yourselves!
I don’t think there’s any blog that’s immune, just like no person is. It’s a ‘wrong place/topic, wrong time’ thing..? Who knows how this really works? But it’s how you deal with it, perhaps, when it lands on you. I guess that’s my point. My issue wasn’t played out on my blog, it was just triggered by it! It can happen in myriad ways. Don’t let it put you off, and read what you want! Enjoy x
Sometimes we need time. To heal. To step back. To reflect. I wrote a comment on another blogger’s post yesterday as she recounted what she too interprets as a growing rift in the blogosphere…and on the issue of stepping back..or moving into the fray. I said, in paraphrasing, that as someone who’s had a long time working in a career where NOT saying what you think was the right way to continue being employed …I learned which battles were worth winning or being prepared to walk away, knowing I had done no harm. Playing the ball not the man is something maybe more people need to remember now
Somewhere in this world of ours, there’s usually a friend around to hear us…am glad to know that I’ve been that friend….Love D
I like what Denyse has said – play the ball, not the man.
I’m a big believer in having a voice – and big believer that everyone has a right to theirs… but like I say to my 5 year olds, we speak kindly to each other. It’s pretty simple really.