I’m a lover, not a fighter. Not a blogger, but a writer.

I need to write to breathe. I need like-mindedness to thrive.

Blogging has become not so much about writing, but about the complete opposite for me. Ironic. What once was a freeing catharsis has become a cage. That can’t be right! That doesn’t sound balanced. I locked myself in there, mind you, too afraid of sharing my own held truths.  As they stacked up and up amongst the growing social media world I found myself in (which grew and expanded around me and swept me up along with it), my view on things grated against how I was actually behaving online. That more than anything is why it’s time to give this place the respectful farewell nod.

I can no longer afford (for my own health and growth) to keep a lid on this, for the sake of not wanting to alienate any readers. This realisation is in itself a mark of growth within me that is also deserving of being shared, in turn to hopefully give someone the faith and trust that they can do it too. It’s quite ironic, really!

So now that I have explained and explored and exposed the past few weeks to you in copious amounts of words (that’s the writer part of me, sorely in need of a good edit), it’s time to wrap this thing up in a sweet bow and get on with life.

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Today I am preparing to single-handedly facilitate (with lots of background support, I hasten to acknowledge) a weekend-long workshop that was postponed due to my accident. Just one of the many things that have factored in the background and which I don’t talk about here openly. That is set to change (on the new blog space, which will be more finely tuned, more focused and less ‘personal, me front-and-centre’). The workshop is about Clearing & Protection – how to tap in to and avail yourself of the constant source of life force energy that abounds around and in all of us, clearing that which is permitted and protecting from the sorts of sapping experiences we can often inadvertently find ourselves in. That’s it, in a very small nutshell…

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In my world – the one I will let you in on more if you decide you want to join me on my new blog once I’ve finished setting up over Christmas/New Year – the Red Kangaroo totem sits with a mandala known as The Cure Curator. These mandalas provide understanding and focus for a current cause or concern. Each mandala has its own essence (usually that of a Stone) and a sound chord. I was compelled to look this one up because of its relationship to the Red Kangaroo.

The essence of this particular mandala is that of Bone:
“…helps you to feel calmer and less fearful, especially toward your instinctual or survival-oriented issues… Assists you to be more open and honourable with your knowledge and less secretive and reserved as a result of past experiences or misguided teachings. In those who have had their energetic levels misused or infiltrated by another’s fear, or have been disconnected from their personal truth… BONE will create strong resilience and enable them to reach out their knowledge, or method, in a sharing and co-operative way. Bone alleviates ill-patterns brought through the genetic family lineage…”

Good old synchronistic resonance! It is not lost on me that I had been in the process of discovering my ancestors a little more on the trip that was ended by the run-in with the roo. The quotes below are from that animal’s wisdom and from The Cure Curator.

Red Kangaroos survive in the arid Australian inland… Red Kangaroo, therefore, reminds you that over-emotional responses to life are unnecessary, and that if you live with what you are given you will survive. They remind you to avoid seeking to fill your emotional wants by accumulating more than you need.

Quite clearly, this says to me that it is now redundant for me to maintain a blog where I am front and centre. My emotional wants can no longer seek to be filled by “you out there”! And actually, to hold onto it will only cause increasing bouts of anguish (in me) now because I’ll feel too anchored by it.

Red Kangaroo offers the lesson of staying in touch with the True Creator within, creating what you need in tune with the rhythms of the Earth and for the good of All.Red Kangaroo also suggests you check what new life you intend to bring into being. Now may not be the time to be self-focused simply for the sake of having.

Again, another indicator that it’s time to wind the old blog down. But perhaps there is room in my life for a blog of a slightly different nature. Certainly one that affords more anonymity and less self-focus “just because I can.” I’m starting to see in my mind which direction I would take this. It would certainly be something far more esoteric – just to warn those who want to jump ship now!

Red Kangaroo knows to respond to the inner connections of the Mother Within—that is, Mother Nature. It suggests that you do the same for, by your doing things just because you can, you could be risking an improper or unwanted outcome and creating harm or hurt. Red Kangaroos graze at night, early morning and evenings—something that can remind you that, for your best direction, you should pay attention to your intuition and spiritual connection at this time, too. Red Kangaroo rests in the middle of the day, avoiding overexposure to the desert heat. Those who maintain busy daytime lives would do well to pursue spiritual sustenance in the quieter hours of morning and evening (dawn and dusk) and so avoid the influence and radiation of the heat from a chaotic world. This could be a time to find rest under the shade of a tree to avoid depleting your energy. The appearance of Red Kangaroo heralds a need to bring balance into your daily life.

So… if one flips off the bonnet of your car, it’s trying to really tell you? Would that be fair to say? If I’m honest with myself, my life has not had proper balance for at least a year now. The imbalance crept up on me. Too much online life and not enough real life, is what it boiled down to. But there it is. The good news is, these are all things I can change!

The totem of Red Kangaroo will assist in integrating proper action in tune with Mother Nature and her needs. It will help you to practise correct methods of mothering and nurture for all your family as well as for the community to follow and so set examples for future generations.

The biggest indicator of all – the final paragraph – tells me as plainly as if it were taking me by the shoulders and saying, “Oi! You! Over here and concentrate. You’re about to do some really hard, very rewarding, incredibly special work with young people. For however long you house them and hold them in your circle of care, you have to be on call, front and centre. No time for anything other than that which nurtures EVERYTHING around you!”

Will you come along for the next leg of the ride? Send me an email if you wish, in case you miss the messages on Twitter or Facebook (I’m not sure how that will even work yet, as I will need to completely close down this domain name and not have it link at all with the new blog space, for the protection of identities).

So! Well. Yes. This is… awkward. I’m like the last guest at the party who hasn’t taken the cue to leave. But really, how do you wrap up a whole entire blog of this many years and this much depth? You hang up first… No, you. I think I’ll miss you most of all? No… YOU!

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