Neonatal Loss

“To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to, who wouldn’t do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about, God in His mercy…
Oh, if he really does exist
Why did he desert me?
In my hour of need
I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that

there are more hearts
Broken in the world
That can’t be mended
Left unattended

What do we do?
What do we do?”

– Gilbert O’Sullivan
“Alone Again (Naturally)”


The following posts regarding neonatal loss may mention subsequent pregnancy/child.

The posts are separated below into years from the event of my daughter’s death, as an illustration of how inner ramblings/writing and expression change and develop over the passage of that frienemy of the grieving parent: Time. You may also like to browse stories by readers as they submit their journeys in writing, via this link (categorised under Your Stories in the blog menu).

After two years:
A memory like a smack in the kisser  July 3, 2006

After three years:
The “get on with it” method and why it doesn’t work (***living child mentioned***)  May 21, 2007

After four years:
From Dolly to tears in three songs  February 15, 2008
When? Never, that’s when April 17, 2008
Weeping world November 11, 2008 (includes extract from my unpublished memoir)

After five years:
The first rose March 13, 2009

After six years:
Questions about questioning loss  January 22, 2010
A real man April 5, 2010
I wish I had a river August 6, 2010, 2010

After seven years:
Dear Plato February 11, 2011  (***living child mentioned***)
You Are There July 9, 2011
Remembered into being  December 30, 2011 

After eight years
What is “Real”? The skin horse was right   June 25, 2012
We’re all connected: Tears on a branch  May 12, 2012 

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